2026-01-21 00:00:43 ET • I AM NOT POOPING (YET) • I JUST RELEASED A NEW DJ MIX THAT YOU CAN GO GET NOW (I WAS NOT POOPING WHILE RECORDING IT EITHER I PROMISE) • DO NOT WORRY, I WILL STILL LET YOU ALL KNOW WHEN I AM POOPING. [important next-day update] • GOOD MORNING I’M POOPING

2026-01-16 02:53:02 ET hello boys and girls and boys! while tonight's poop had a little bit of Sharty Squirties™ towards the end of it, most of the poop was too damn sticky and thick and just a rather lackluster, slow, and stupid experience as a result, however do not dismay, for earlier today i went to the parallel dimension where magical trevor sent the cow and i now have all the Sharty Squirties™ fuel i could have hoped for starting tomorrow. oh boy! (and oh girl, too!) <fart sound bottom text> 2 comments

2026-01-14 03:00:59 ET GOOD NEWS you guys, i have successfully removed a bunch of POOP that was all thick and up in there so that NOW i can let out all the GIANT FARTS that were HERETOFORE stuck way up in there behind the POOP that i am about to FLUSH - BIG FARTS ALL NIGHT HAVE NOW BEGUN. 2 comments

2026-01-10 00:04:23 ET ~EXTRA FANCY~ ~EXTRA FANCY~ is what it says at the bottom. fuckin Santa Claus get your fuckin hand out of the way SMH

2026-01-02 02:23:28 ET taking some time to reflect on the day before i go to bed. lunch today was kimchi, so that my day was full of powerful and terrible kimchi belches of course this led to the evening having been and still being full of tremendous and disgusting kimchi farts tomorrow morning i will most likely smile real big as i prepare to unleash the inevitable fanciful and horrendous kimchi turds into this blessed new year of 2026 oh boy! [unrelated post addition!] is there any online platform now that isn't being obviously overrun by fucking fed accounts and weird paid political operatives? jesus fucking christ. [additional related update] the predicted poop is far surpassing my wildest dreams and i am quite pleased!!! 2 comments

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