|
2026-07-16 14:26:42 ET hey you guys i’ve got this fantastic idea - hear me out! so first thing’s first we’re gonna join up with a crew of retards from way north of sacramento where the only bodies of water of note are a few rivers - then we’re gonna rent the cheapest possible river / lake boat we can find which apparently is 50 miles south of sacramento in fucking stockton where the only bodies of water of note are a few rivers, then after the Head Retard™ slaps the top of said boat good and hard and says “this puppy’s all we need!” we’re going to, for reasons, take said shabby rental river / lake boat 100 miles west to the INFAMOUSLY ROUGH WATERS OF THE GOLDEN GATE OF THE FUCKING OCEAN THESE INLAND RETARDS HAVE ZERO EXPERIENCE WITH (also no life vests we don’t need those at all you fucking pussies) and we’re gonna stack 20 retards on the top level of the fuckin lake cruiser, showing to all the bay area just how fucking retarded we are, and then, having ignored all regional boat launch warning signs, regulations, and laws (it’s ok one of the retards is a retired sheriff’s deputy because of course he fucking is), we’re just gonna let nature handle the rest and act astonished when a normal ass sizeable ocean wave capsizes our 20-people-top-heavy rinky dink river-and-lake cruiser from stockton, which stockton i would call the new jersey of the west coast except EVEN FUCKING NEW JERSEY IS ACTUALLY OCEAN ADJACENT WITH PEOPLE THERE WHO I PRESUME KNOW HOW THE OCEAN WORKS AND WHAT BOATS TO USE ON IT - anyway, like a few of us will definitely absolutely die. and then the news will either fail to or inaccurately report most of this. ISN'T THIS A STELLAR IDEA. C'MON KIDS LET’S GO WE’RE BURNIN DAYLIGHT! 👍 like 👩💻 comment 🧑🩰 subscribe |
