Fuckinghell ouch

2007-03-17 17:51:47 ET I hurt so badly. I had the surgery yesterday. I was at the hospital by 5:30am and didn’t leave till 3:30pm. The surgery took an hour and a half longer then it was supposed to. My gallbladder was inflamed a lot I guess. So he had to make the main incision larger, so I have four cuts but one is about an inch or so long. And dear lord if I didn't have pain meds I think I would fucking die. Lol.. But eh.. Life and all that jazz will go on. but all and all I am glad its over, now it will get better and no more gall attacks or what ever.. 13 comments

Life these days

2007-03-11 17:05:52 ET So, Friday I go in for my surgery. I get to have my gallbladder removed, fun, fun, fun. I keep telling myself I will only be laid up for a few days but everyone keeps telling me it will be a week or so. I can't miss school, and I can't miss work! I will have someone wheel me in if I have to, not fucking joking... I am glad about the surgery, which means no more pain. Fucking gallstones and gallattacks, which apparently are compared to heart attacks on the pain level. Well apparently I handle pain well because its been going on for more then a year. It is incapacitating and I feel like I want to die when one hits, but it always fades. On a lighter note, I really dig this guy. He really digs me too, but we are not official yet. But that's ok. I think its up to me when we will become "official" but I've said it before and I will say it again, I really don't want to screw this up. I really care about him. He is so amazing and makes me feel all tingly. It's so awesome. 6 comments

I hate this

2007-02-23 18:15:54 ET I hate feeling this way.. Depressed... lonely.. It hardly every happens, the depressed thing I mean. I have not really had a lot of downs in a while.. I used to all the time, and now that I feel up and happy most of the time, it hurts so much more when I don't. I feel like I am never going to fall in love.. More like no one will ever fall in love with me. It is hard to watch all those damn couples out there when you feel like a dark dank hole has been driven through your heart. This better not last very long dammit. I don't ever want to go there again, to that comfortable depressive state I lived so long it, comfortable yes, but never happy and I need happy. I crave it like air, caffeine, and nicotine. I feel better just writing this down so its not in my head threating to burrow bluntly through my skull.

2007-02-03 19:34:26 ET Work and school, exahusting but so worth it. I'm, for once, loving life.. Now for some Male lovin... lol... mostly kidding... Also.. I wish I had more time to visit with my RIKKI..

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2007-01-17 03:59:45 ET HI!!! 5 comments

Life is getting better

2007-01-16 17:41:33 ET I was approved for my loans... HELL FUCKING YEAH!!!! I start school monday. Dearlord that is so soon.. But I am way excited!! Rikki should live here, she could get approved for financal aid and shit too. It would be awesome... But yeah.. I am off to bed work tomorrow, and shit. Oh and being sick sucks ass.. just so every one knows...

2007-01-13 17:14:22 ET Well Thank Fucking God that 2006 is over. I hated it, too much shit went down that made life shit for me and many friends and family. 2007 hasn't started out much better the only really awesome thing is the fact that Rikki now lives in Arizona now. ***dj interupts** Crystal is fucking hella ACE! ...that is all ***now back to crystal*** Well now that the invasion is over... I have a registration interview for school tuesday.. FUCK YEAh... the only bad thing is that I will be working from 8-5 and going to school from 6-10. but thats only Mon - Thurs. I am glad, but I want my rikki to move up here for moral support. *end* 5 comments

Happiness and Joy to all

2006-12-25 06:39:30 ET MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY HOLIDAYS SUBKULTURES!!! I hope everyone is home safe and happy! 1 comment

So I was in an Accident

2006-11-14 08:08:48 ET I was on my way home from dinner with my grandparents. I was driving my new car (new to me not new in general). My dad was in the passenger seat, and we were talking about my car, and that it is nice. with all of a sudden we jerked forward. Then we jerked again and started spinning. I was sideswiped rear ended and then hit in the side and forced in to a spin by a, get this SEMI- truck. I spun one and a half times before coming to rest int he median. I am one lucky woman, and if I had reacted any other way but the right way, I would be dead and so would my dad. I a glad I am a good responsive driver, and that the man upstairs is looking out for me. It sucks though, its like I just can't have nice things, every time I get a new car something happens.. FUCK!!! But hey, I am alive, and he was sighted.... plus I have a good lawyer.. The ER doctor said I have to stay home for the next two days to "relax and rest so I can heal" BLAH... I am tired and sore. 6 comments

Egad, and BAH

2006-11-10 17:53:01 ET Being sick. Seriously. When you are so violently ill that your boss has to call your mother to pick you up from work, because you wouldn’t be able to drive, is terrible. I was sitting next to her desk hugging a trash can until my mom called and was down stairs to pick me up. I am just glad she brought my dad, and sister. Dad took her car, and my mom, sister and I drove mine home. I still feel rather shitty, which sucks because I was going to go up to Phoenix tomorrow to see Sara, after I donated Blood, which I can't do either. I will probably have to high of a white cell count, but I am going to try anyway. 5 comments

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