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2013-08-25 17:02:57 ET erg. so, i said i'd start writing here again more faithfully, i guess now's as good a time as any to come through on that. i've just made it through my first week in university housing and i have a lot to say with nobody to say it to. well, i suppose i know who i should be saying it to, but since i'm a big wuss i'll just write it here instead. the roommate situation is absolutely killing me. i'm a shy introverted type with bad bad BAD social anxiety, so having to share a living space with a stranger is stressful in and of itself. add the fact that i have to share it with not one, but THREE strangers, all of whom are minors and feign no interest in interacting with me at all, and i'm already praying for may to come and classes haven't even started yet. i hope that once i get out and about on the campus and in the community i'll make friends with some people my own age who are a bit more like-minded, but i'm always my own biggest critic and at this point it just feels like i'll be lonely and suffocating for the next 9 months. sigh. being in this close proximity with younger people just enforces the fact that i'm an "old soul." last night i hid in my room for 5 hours unable to sleep because my roommates had like, 10 people over, were talking super loud, listening to music, and drinking until 4 in the morning. i can guarantee myself at least that this is the first and last time i will have to stuff cotton balls in my ears to get relief from that shit because the next time it happens i WILL get an RA involved. especially since there was a lot of alcohol involved. not even good alcohol either, but that shitty bottled strawberry margarita mix that miraculously jumped out of the blender and got all over the counter and stained it bright red. i would have been completely okay with them having a couple people over for a couple beers or something, but i definitely did not fucking sign up for frat house bullshit. i pay money to live here, too. i wouldn't take it upon myself to sacrifice a goat in the living room or something if i didn't know my roommates were 100% okay with it, i guess i'm just annoyed that they act like i don't live here at all. one of my biggest worries about moving into this situation would be that i would be the resident grandma. i've always been the resident grandma. worry too much, don't have enough fun, be too cautious, follow the rules a little too closely. however, a big part (nearly all) of me still feels that there's nothing wrong with being a good person and doing what i'm supposed to do. i don't really WANT my roommates to get caught violating the house rules and breaking the law, but it really bothers me that they took it upon themselves to take over the apartment all night without consulting me in any way. it seems to me like a pretty common sense thing to do. i know i'd have had the common decency to make that judgment call at 19 years old. blah. hopefully things will chill out a bit once classes start and i have something to occupy my mind with... and at least i can take comfort in the fact that i am in control of the wireless router, so if they piss me off again there could just be a little interruption in their service... |
