2005-03-22 19:15:58 ET

i hate this feeling.

i wish someone would fix the "imbalance" in my brain, or do something to make the mood swings stop. Yesterday was the best day in the world. Today has been nothing but shit. HOW can i feel so good, then suddenly, so bad? Why cant i just be normal? i cant stress how much i hate feeling this down. i dont know what to do to make it go away. i dont know what to do to keep myself on a level field anymore. The only thing that i know is that every day will be an adventure. i wake up wondering, will i feel great and fun and happy today, or will i feel like shit.

Pills dont work, maybe it's been to long. i hate that i have my life has come down to whether or not the perscription will keep working, or if it'll wear off and i'll go into this slump again.

Maybe it's time for something different. Who knows.

2005-03-24 16:41:12 ET

I hear ya about the ups and downs...Been that way for about two years now! Most of my time is just plain down. Unfortunately I have tried to find help. But to no avail.

And yes! Butterflies are great :)

2005-03-24 20:02:53 ET

Butterflies WERE great, but now they're gone, and i'm on the whirlwind downfall. Big surprise, eh?

Ah well. i'm sure my search for help will be as yours.

Fucken drugs, drs, all the bullshit.

2005-03-25 14:11:23 ET

I told a doctor once who kept giving me meds for muscolar arthritis....that they usually pau gunina pigs! Needless to say, he quit being my doctor:P

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