| Aunt Rita 2005-11-09 20:13:45 ET |
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My Father has two older sisters. One lies comotose in the hospital tonight. It's her fault. She's been bent on self disruction as long as I can remember. She is an alchoholic. She has been on countless antidepressants. She has spent much of her life trying to fix herself and only changing the outside... Divorces, plastic sugery, change of location, changing careers.
My parents raised the younger of her two children. She was very mean and hurtful. She had alianated her children so much that she had not been invited to her own daughter's wedding. She wasn't invited to mine either because my mom would rather have my cousins there than Rita.
She lived near us in Tahoe for a while... I spent nights at her house taking care of her after her plastic sugeries or anxiety attacks. Her medication never seemed to help.
She was one of the most scariest hurtful people I know.. Yet she is family and it kills me to think of her lying in a hospital with liver failure. The doctor isn't sure if she'll make it through the night. She could last another couple of weeks, there isn't any hope after your liver has shut down.
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| moving 2005-11-07 13:03:14 ET |
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So the time is speeding by. I can't believe I am getting married in two weeks.
The only connection this concept has to reality is that I am moving into David's place over the course of this week. My mom arrives early next week and final preperation begins.
This is accually my last entry from the house I have shared with Sara for the past two years. Internet has been cancelled because I am the one who has the computer.
I am so excited about my next step in life. David is everything I could ever have wished for. These last few weeks have been a bit rocky because of stress and other things. It's been hard but All of the problems make me a little more sure about commiting the rest of my life to him. Relationships are never perfect.What I do have though is someone who is willing to work hard to make a our relationship better. That's pretty much perfect to me.we have only learned to communicate better and learned more about how each other sees things.
My only regret is that my roommate situation is ending before I could figure out how to fix our friendship. She was one of my closest friends but now it's not a good idea for us to talk. leaving this house under that circumstance, It feels like Failure. We were really good frinds before we shared a house. I know that it's just a case of clashing personalities. I know that I should just let it go.
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| focus.. 2005-11-02 18:00:42 ET |
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Tater tots and horseradish is yummy. my closet needs cleaning. I should repaint my nails and while I am at it, I should redye my hair...
I have two papers due tomarrow And I want to do anything but write them
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