2005-04-18 20:30:06 ET

dont know anything anymore.

i dont know myself anymore.

i am going thru such hardcore shit right now, it doesnt even seem to be real.

am i caught in my own nightmare.

everyone is telling me the same thing. the more i hear it the more i hate myself and wonder how anyone can even look at me.

why cant i be an old woman who has already gone thru this shit life and be in my deathbed.

i thought this shit whud end with everything else, yet it creeps up on me everytime.

how cant i talk to my mom when she just thinks im feeling sorry for myself, why cant she see it goes way deeper than anything remotely in that category.


2005-04-19 07:35:04 ET

:( im sorry you're feeling like that.

2005-04-19 11:39:31 ET

yeh.

its really horrible.

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