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2003-12-17 20:53:25 ET i need to get the fukk out of here i effin HATE my dad. he is such a fat ugly lazy fukken spoiled lil boi. he fukken hates me and i hate him. he just fukken stormed in my room and grabbed me by the hair freeking out and mumbleing some bullshit about how i dont clean up after myself. dragged me upstairs and made me pick up a fukken piece of popcorn that fell underneath the counter. he would NEVER EVER DO THAT TO MY BROTHER. i kno why i hate him, but where the fukk does his angered hate for me come from? what ever happned to dads having undying love for their daughters...all that shit i see and hear on tv. well i have never had the hand of it. he has always had this spiteful anger towards me. and now has turned abusive. he gets sooo fukken worked up over nothing and like shakes and his voice gets all crackled....and i can see this really scary hate coming from his eyes....like he is goin to kill me and comes after me. i want him to die. i just wanna be with my mom forever. but this wont happen...and i'm not about to kill him...well who knows maybe someday. but for now i have no money or anything and my mom refuses to let me go. so i ask whut the fukk am i supoose to do. i am in sooo much hurt and pain...i want to die, but i cant do that to my mom , she is all i live for...i keep having these nightmares that she leaves me...or neglects me. i just dont kno whut to do anymore. |
