Waste of time

LeoZ 2019-01-14 12:18:11 ET In hindsight, I've probably wasted 15 years of my life slacking off. I mean, I didn't totally slack off. I still did things but I didn't dig into things. Instead I would just go into a weird stasis mode where I'd barely do anything while the time passes. Like lethargy or some such thing. Going to try and address that now. Not sure how but I guess if I notice myself procrastinating or being lethargic then I'll just stop being lethargic by figuring out what to do and I'll stop procrastinating by just doing. I don't know. It's fucking weird. What brought this on? The realization that my life when I was in school seemed a ton more eventful because A LOT more things would happen daily mostly from me actually reaching out and doing things. The amount of things that have happened between 1996 and 2003 or 2004 are immense. They feel like 20 years of material if I lived life like I do now. That was only a span of 8 years. Maybe 1994 instead of 1996. So 1994-2004 was freaking wacky. Things can still be wacky. I just need to stop being a rock, just sitting there, and become a rolling stone. Okay, that's a terrible pun but whatever. What's the point of life if not to live it? Ironically studying and learning and figuring stuff out is a huge part of living life. I need to do that. A lot more of that. Subkultures isn't therapy but problems make for content, no?

turboskanker 2019-01-14 19:48:55 ET i think the important thing is just finding shit you care about doing. pushing oneself to simply do stuff for the sake of doing stuff will always just lead to a lethargic relapse. gotta pursue stuff you're actually passionate or care about if you want it to be sustainable.

LeoZ 2019-01-16 13:21:22 ET That's the issue though. I find tons of stuff interesting. There's too many things to pursue and study and so, instead of picking one or two and sticking with them, I just idle. I'd keep my eyes and ears open around me at work and when hanging out so I'd end up gaining a minimum amount of knowledge but enough to keep up. Now I'm unemployed (working on that separately) and the idleness rears its head. Anyways, I enrolled in an online university to force my hand into one direction but I still need to figure out the whole "actually doing shit" thing out. So, yeah, I appreciate your advice. I just need to figure out which things I care about to pursue first. I guess I should measure them by their difficulty/reward ratio. The rewards being things that will give me time to pursue the other interests. Also I should start making more coffee and going through the tea boxes again like I was when I was sick a couple of months back.

Venadium 2019-01-16 16:47:17 ET I think it's just part of "growing up" (whatever that is supposed to look like). I definitely also did way more shit in that same time frame than I do now, but I also was working like 24 hours a week at most and living at home. It's a lot easier to do whatever random shit pops into your head or falls in your lap when you have no responsibility to do otherwise. I'm not saying I don't agree because I feel the same way sometimes, it just isn't as easy to be that active anymore.

turboskanker 2019-01-16 21:02:03 ET sounds like a plan 👍

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