i recently moved into my own apartment and just got over the flu with no privilege of sick days. i have no idea how i am going to pay rent. that being said i still aim to create more intimacy in my life with candles, warm conversation over wine or leaving notes for loved ones under pillows. i would make love all day enveloped in white sheets smelling your armpits and die a happy women. i have been described as the following: shy, reserved, easy-going, open, honest, caring, brave, and my favourite a good little girl. here you will find little truths about my life listed, branded and linked.
self potrait | ||
|on bisexuality||2009-12-10 19:21:17 ET|
it appears that there is a lot of distrust when a person identifies themselves as bisexual. in my experience we are ridiculed even more by both straight and gay orientations. i am sure that are many who identify as bisexuals who are just going through phase, transitioning, or just curious. however to classify all bisexuals as greedy, promiscuous, and concluding that we do not know what we want is particularly hurtful and isolating. i write this post to meet more bisexuals both men and women and hear their thoughts, i encourage you. i write this post to represent bisexuals who are certain its not just a phase and who do not feel the need to "choose" because ultimately we have chosen love. i write this post in acknowledgment of those who maintain a self reflection practice to continually be honest, safe and open in all their intimate relationships. i write for myself first and foremost understanding that i am worthy of love, compassion, and trust just as much as anyone else. much love.
shamelessly yours always
|my music!!!||2009-11-23 09:58:14 ET|
enjoy here is a song i produced and wrote over the weekend.
|minimalist blog sites||2009-11-11 15:30:11 ET|
someone requested the sites i been looking at, here some that speak most to me:
|minimize and intimacy||2009-11-10 18:05:27 ET|
this past week i have been relentlessly reading blogs that focus on minimalist lifestyle. this idea appeals to me for various reasons:
1. easy to move around.
2. no more visual clutter.
3. spending less
4. requires me to be conscious of my eating habits.
5. i am learning to notice what fuels my energy and what takes away from my energy.
i can't recall which blog but it suggested that i should write down 5 things that are important to me right now, and find some way of integrating it more into my daily practices.
currently i hold in high value:
2. body movement
4. music (singing, writing, dancing)
5. eating well
6. travel (yes i added one more but its pretty important)
i have to say that since i decided to have more intimacy in my life and found it THAT important the quality of my life has changed quickly and dramatically. living on my own is quite the transition for me coming from a relatively big family and have always been around people. but what i want from the minimalist lifestyle is to spend less on shit i don't need and create more presence and art in my life.
|halloween||2009-11-01 10:13:49 ET|
i can't say that it was my best night and i might of had too many expectations. i had all intentions of being a bondage geisha last night but my make up did not work out. i mprovised and was a bondage fairy instead.
it seems that no one goes all out with their costumes anymore. i was thoroughly impressed by the tin man from wizard of oz costume i saw on the train on my way to the first party. i have not seen any costumes worthwhile for the rest of the night.
my friend warned of lame law students at this party, but i was more occupied with another friend's drunk girlfriend as she wanted all my attention. a bunch of us stood on the balcony to spark a joint. drunk girlfriend sneezes 11 times in row and after that she has a hard time holding herself up.
we were in front of the next party and drunk girl was passed on big rock. after a few pukes later her boyfriend shows up to take her home. we missed reduced guest list and had to pay $30! i had no cash and was really starting to sober up but i was determined to have a good night.
two of my friends ended going home instead of coming and my other friend ended up leaving for home early. i was there alone in the mix of people high on drugs or weed, or drunk out of their minds. glow sticks and flashing coloured nights reminds of why i sometimes go to these parties alone. i do not have to worry about anyone having a good time and i can be hypnotized by all the bassy music.
being at clubs alone is nothing new to me but last night was the first time i felt lonely. i had a difficult time psyching myself into having a good time. it was not all a bad night really just a lonely one. although there were some highlights.
i unraveled my rope corset at some point during the night while some guy made dance movements with it. i was impressed by this tactic proving to me that he can fun. we danced for some time with breaks dancing with others in between.
one girl came up to me and held my hand and started jumping. she made my night she held my hand like a close friend of hers and we had an awesome dancing moment. i think i might of fallen in love with her but then she left rather abruptly. for a moment i was saddened by her absence but the guy dancing with my rope saved the day. our dancing got rather erotic at one point and i was certain i was going to take him home. that was a window closed quickly when the music changed and i started dancing all over the place.
being that the clocks went back one hour and its a full moon tonight i was starting to feel like i didn't want to be there anymore. i was more concerned with being far from home and leaving alone. i think that i walked for about ten minutes before coming to a corner where i found a skeleton mask. i picked it up and carried it home for he was my only friend that night.
finally i saw a cab and went home and vowed to myself i would never take care of drunk again.