| same ol' 2004-04-20 13:57:01 ET |
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sitting at the library again, having just completed a MARVELOUS presentation on prostitution for my deviance seminar. i know all there is to know about hos, yo.
um, don't guess i really have much to say. i just drank a disgusting cup of vending machine coffee, extra strong, but i still feel drained. sleeping more than 2-3 hours a night would probably help. i'll have to consider that.
there's a chance that we will be adding a sixth roommate to the legendary house of pain shortly, but i don't want to say more about that for fear of jinxing and other forms of superstitions that i totally don't believe in anyway.
okay, i'm wasting your time and mine. later.
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| right 2004-04-14 08:21:46 ET |
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i was totally going to post some of the scandalous promo pictures from our upcoming burlesque show. but alas, i forgot the cd with the pictures on it. it will have to wait.
everyone hold their breaths or something.
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| i hate...well i hate everything 2004-04-12 10:25:26 ET |
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okay, more of the usual. have i mentioned lately how utterly sick of my life i am at this moment? oh, i have? well it bears repeating.
i really think i've spread myself too thin this time around. i've got more schoolwork than i'll probably physically be able to complete in a month, i've got a program to conduct each week at work from now till the end of the semester plus i've got the burlesque show which is ever-so-unconveniently happening the weekend after my final exams. how the hell am i going to make time for all this? not to mention that i don't actually have the motivation to even start, nonetheless complete, all this. and then there's the apathy, the i'm-so-over-this-so-fuck-it-ness that's always there to add to my self loathing.
i just need these next four weeks to be over and this weight on my shoulders to disappear and to do this show and have it be a total success or not but whatever it will be done and over with and so will everything else and i can stop stressing out so much and tearing at my hair and hating myself and wishing i weren't me, just for five minutes. of course that won't really happen because as soon as school lets out i'll be faced with the "oh shit, i don't have a job, how am i going to pay bills or afford to eat?!?!" dilemma. i'm so broke now because of those unexpected car problems that i'm having a hard time figuring out how to pay my expenses even with a job. so without the job will certainly suck mightily.
blahblahblah, woe is me, whatever. i'm really not feeling that much self pity or anything. i'm mostly pissed at myself. i should be handling this better or something. i'm just not feeling it. life, that is.
enough.
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| if i didn't complain i'd probably never speak at all 2004-04-08 12:33:15 ET |
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my coursework for the rest of the semester is INSANE. i mean, i realize that it's the final semester of my undergrad senior year and it's time to shove my nose against the grindstone and all that bullshit, but this is a little excessive. check this shit out:
math placement test (this will require many, many hours of preparation considering that i always hated math class and thus have not taken one since 8th grade)
bible as lit project - 52 pages
2 theory of sociology papers - 6 pages each
class, status and power paper - 6 pages
deviance paper - 30 pages
4 gender in society papers - 1 is 6 pages, 2 require attending 2 hour long programs and then doing write-ups, the other is a write-up on a technological source
all this plus my regular assignments and readings. my assigned readings alone are around 300-400 pages a week on average. not including the reading and research that all those papers are going to require. and of course i haven't started on any of this yet.
i guess i'll quit bitching and start working on some of this now. don't bother pitying me; i'm doing a good job at it myself.
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