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2007-12-20 04:53:34 ET Ok so my marraige is wonderful and happy but its also different from most. I don't usually tell most people about it, but its kinda vital to the rant. I love Quinten with my entire heart and he loves me with his, but we have an open relationship. We have been together since sopomore year of high school. I was his first girlfriend his first everything and he was my first everything too. I have found that occasionally its fun to bring another girl into the equasion. I have also given him permission to have his fun while underway when I am not around as long as he tells me about it and is safe about it. I have no problem with it. Sex is a human urge and my whole philosophy about it is that they may have his body every so often, but I have his heart always. Plus I get him whenever I want. Ok so you have some background there and for some you may not uderstand it but please don't judge us because we are still good people. Anyways we have been talking for a while about letting me "experiment" with other guys. The reason it has been under such debate is because he won't really get any pleasure out of it. I enjoy women but he doesn't enjoy men at all. Well a friend of ours showed interest in me, and I discussed things with Quinten and things went from there. He is a good friend of mine and we do photography together and just enjoy each others company. When things did happen there was no awkwardness and everything felt perfect. Well just recently his ex-girlfriend broke up with her currant boyfriend and they started talking again and are basicly back together, though not officially. Well he told her about us, was honest with her, but she still has a problem with me being around. I went with him to the rock gym last night. We had fun, I took pictures while he climbed and Sage made a new friend her age. It was great. Well his soon to be g/f had called and had obviously gotten frustraited with not being able to get ahold of him. She didn't know the rock gym was open late and when she found out I was there she must have gotten even more frustraited. He had to defend himself in the reason I was there. He was tired before so he wasn't his usual self, but his whole demeanor changed after he talked to her. It really frustraited me that he can't be himself around me. He is a flirt, and I am to. I flirt with everyone, Quinten excepted that when we got together. He knows he can trust me. Her on the other hand I see causing it so my friend and I can't hang out anymore. I hate jelouse people. WHile I don't LOVE my friend I still really care about him and I miss the way things were before he started talking to his ex. Not the sexual part so much but just how he acted so carefree around me. Now he acts so careful and I hate it. I just wish she wouldn't be so jelouse, I totally respect their relationship and would never do anything to jepordise it, and I know for a fact the neither would my friend. I feel sad and icky with the state of things and I think its just going to get worse. |
