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2003-03-27 23:06:24 ET at·tri·tion n. 1. A rubbing away or wearing down by friction. 2. A gradual diminution in number or strength because of constant stress. 3. A gradual, natural reduction in membership or personnel, as through retirement, resignation, or death. 4. Repentance for sin motivated by fear of punishment rather than by love of God. This week has been a wild ride, an emotional rollercoaster so to speak. I'm trying to lay off drinking since I realized I've been consistently drunk for a week now. I kind of started to pop out of the daze I've been in since I found out the news about my grandmother. Last night was the first mostly sober night. Tonight is the second. It's been a while since I last updated. Too much has happened. I had a rare moment last night at embers and behaved fully as an asshole to a friend just to make up with someone else. I felt shitty about blowing him off immediately after doing it. It ate at me until this morning when I gave a call to him to apologize. Hopefully the apology will be accepted. As for that certain someone that I made up with, I'm happy we could talk for a little while last night. I did mean what I said, but please don't expect it to happen tomorrow. Last night's behavior was a prime example of the fact that my head is not together and I should not be in a serious relationship right now. I need to think long and hard about what I really want for the future because I truly don't know right now what it is. I really wish I could leave town for a little while. The chance may be coming up soon but the circumstances are not happy. My grandfather is not expected to make it though his chemotherapy. I would like to make it back to see him before it's too late but I don't know if it's going to be possible. I have paid vacation time coming to me but to cover my bills but no money for a trip back east as I have not been able to save money at all for the past two years. Like I said, emotional rollercoaster. Can you say it with me? Schedule of events for this weekend: -get paid -dinner with Micah -Wyth party -seeing what I can do about getting back east for a week -getting my taxes filed? -Kat's 30 b-day taco party (ummmm...tacos...) -[flux] Oh yeah...where did Antoire go? O.O |
