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2010-05-25 13:35:02 ET "Overpopulation" Ever try to juggle babies? You should. It's harder than it looks. Learning and perfecting this skill will lead you to many new opportunities as juggling babies will enchance your reputation and embolden you to explore new pastures. Now, let's begin. First, firmly grasp at the baby's head. Make sure you've got a sure grip but don't crush it. We wouldn't want anything to stain the shirts and blouses of our audience, would we? With your firm grip lift the baby off the floor. Do thid slowly and dramatically as this is an easy way to impress your audience. Now throw the baby into the air. Give it a spin. This might be hard to do at first due to the baby struggling, kicking, and screaming but, don't forget, Practice Makes Perfect! With the fIrst baby semi-suspended in the air by the semi-spherical circular spinning throw grab the next baby as it is flung at/to you by a helper and/or friendly audience member. You grabbed it? Good. Now fling it up just as the first baby is coming down. Now you have two babies flying through the air. This is good but you are not a true baby juggler of babies until you have three babies up in the air at the same time. To achieve this signal the stage crew that you are ready for the magnificent finish by winking or whistling at the crowd. You can both whistle AND wink but this is considered tacky and ill-mannered. I would advise you strongly against signalling as such. Upon receipt of your signal a secret panel will be temporarily removed from the ceiling and a baby will be dropped through the ensuing hole. Let the baby drop then just uppercut it. That's all. It's as simple as that. Now just catch the first baby as it drops and fling it back in the air. Repeat same with second baby. Then upper cut the third. That's all there is to it! Throw, throw, uppercut, catch, throw, catch, throw, uppercut, throw, catch, throw, catch, upper cut, etc. When finishing the act DO NOT CATCH THE BABIES. Instead sucker punch each and every one of them into the audience. Your newly minted fans will scamper and scurry for these fleshy souveneirs of your show. Have a memorable time! |
