2015-09-04 21:33:55 ET


Holy shit. I'm not sure I'll be able to enjoy Final Fantasy 7 quite as much after reading this.

"You turned my beautiful Prius into a nightmare!"

2015-09-05 17:26:23 ET

it's amazing what people will buy into. i once spent 6 months with a real-life vampire. how she found people to let her ugly ass feed on, i'll never know.

2015-09-06 03:24:50 ET

Whoa, hold up. You can't say something like that and not elaborate.

Tell the tale, man!

2015-09-06 07:57:47 ET

not much to tell. i used to frequent a chat room on aol for people who identified with the vampire lifestyle. on a cross-country trek to land my dream job (video game tester for ea), i decided to stay in pullyallup washington instead of continuing on to slc. the people who asked me to stay were real life vampires. i only left after one of 'em pitched a fit over my having a beer, claiming she was an alcoholic and i should know better. after the whole ordeal, i moved back to tucson.

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